Spotify Crapped

_22-Nov-2025

In the toilet bowl of culture we’re all swirling in the same direction. You can’t just hang onto a bit of the porcelain that you like. You’re gonna get flushed with the rest of us.

But what if I told you (Matrix Neo Red Pill Blue Pill Moment) you don’t have to be in the toilet at all?

Thanks to a former-CEO that invests in AI war machines, the proliferation of AI slop and bots, and a really disgusting slew of other waste that I don’t have time to talk about; I - along with many others - have exited the toilet that is Spotify this year.

And now the general consensus - at least among terminally online zillennials like myself - is that Spotify (and streaming as we know it) is on the way out.

But hold on a second. That toilet bowl is beckoning. And Spotify are about to take their biggest dump of the year:

SPOTIFY WRAPPED.

Yay! Woohoo! Yippee! It’s the annual event where you and your friends get together and do free marketing for Spotify. It’s so fun 😂. Yippee!

Yes, the annual music-as-stats festival that is Spotify Wrapped is just around the corner. It might have already happened. Who knows. I don’t use Spotify anymore.

Though - that being said - I still won’t be able to avoid Wrapped. Everyone posts about it and then you get FOMO. That’s how it works. Everyone else is having fun. You’re not.

But I don’t think it’ll be all about fun this year. Remember that general consensus against Spotify from a few paragraphs back? I reckon that’s weighing heavy on the corporation's figurative mind.

As a result, I predict this year's Wrapped will be an all-out-war against the backlash. It will exist to say: Spotify is not only fun, but is also ethical.

Expect:

• Talking-head videos of independent artists who Spotify have “helped” in their careers
• Cute infographics boasting about how much money they’ve sent to said independent artists
• A solemn statement against AI-slop (white text, black background, signed by the CEO)
• And a constant appeal to *YOU* the listener - because that’s all that matters in this world. It’s YOU.

But don’t buy it.

If you’re an ex-Spotifer like myself, don’t give into the FOMO.

And if you still use Spotify: do not share your Spotify Wrapped with your friends.

You are doing free advertising for a multi-billion pound corporation that has shown time and time again that they do not care about music and that they do not care about musicians.

Yeah yeah yeah “it’s fun though”, “it’s just some harmless fun” “i just like to have fun”.

Grow up. Not everything that is fun is good. Go ride a bike or something.

(Quick aside to those on my private Instagram story who know that I shared my all-Chappell Roan Spotify wrapped last year: I know. I was a sucker too. But I’ve changed. Please believe me.)

For a second, I’d like to briefly extend a hand to artists:

I know you get a massive dopamine boost from your Spotify stats. I know it's nice that you were someone’s top listener. And I know you share that you got squillions of streams. But (hold on tight now) is that the best way to measure your own worth?

How about asking yourself: did you make anyone cry this year? Did you write a song that made you really feel something? Did you lend your sousaphone skills to a struggling local skiffle ska fusion band? Did you have a day where you didn’t think about metrics at all?

Ok. Back to listeners:

You’re trying to climb out of the Spotify toilet bowl. But - like I already mentioned - Spotify is about to press flush on their biggest dump of the year.

What can you do, other than revelling in their lime green feces?

I’ve got some answers here:

• Write your own top songs list. Doesn’t have to be the songs that you listened to the most, could be the ones you connected with the most.
• Download your favourite album, listen to it back, and know that it’s yours forever.
• “Oh no that annoying local band actually wrote a good song and I can’t stop listening to it what do I do???” : tell them.
• Sit and think about a world where not everything is based on metrics. Where art is nurtured on a community level. Where people have the time and the energy to make and consume art in a more thoughtful way.

To sum up:

Music is a gift. Stop flushing it down toilets like Spotify.

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Further reading:

• #Wrapped and Sold: Any Liz Pelly article is great (read her book Mood Machine if you have the time) but this one about Spotify Wrapped is much more comprehensive and thoughtful than mine. And was written five years ago. (link)
• Why Is It So Easy To Flood Streaming With AI Slop: Artists don’t even have control over their own pages on Spotify now, this article explores this. (link)
• Plan for the Artist-Owned Internet: Subvert are a coop who are building a Bandcamp alternative that is owned by artists. If you have an artist with a Bandcamp page, you can become a member for free. (link)
• We’re not putting our next single on Spotify: A little #throwback to earlier this year. A more detailed explanation as to why we are not on Spotify anymore. (link)
• Taking the Music off Spotify: when I first took our music off Spotify, I felt a little stupid for a while. Then I read this essay and I felt much less stupid. (link)
• ‘Death to Spotify’: the DIY movement to get artists and fans to quit the music app: the movement away from big-streaming is growing. But we have to keep pushing. (link)

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